BE STILL: Yoga and My Obscure Malady---by Jeannie Snow VanOrden

I did my Yoga routine this morning.  This is one of my goals for 2012: incorporate calming, deep breathing, stretching yoga into my daily life.  I have recorded about eight routines on the DVR.  This particular Yoga series is very mild and relaxing and I have found that it significantly improves my health.  I could have used its healing power a long time ago. 

When I was eleven my mother and father sat me down and said,   “Which would you rather do, take dance or take piano lessons?”  My older sisters both took piano lessons and were accomplished singers and musicians.   It was discovered that my younger sister could benefit from dance lessons as physical therapy for a problem with short tendons in her legs.  My mother found a dance teacher who gave lessons in her home.   So there I was with the option of one or the other.   I chose dance.

I very much wish that I could play piano but if I could only do one, dance was by far the best choice for me.   I was a middle child sandwiched between two talented older sisters, an adorable younger sister whose needs required extra attention, and a long awaited baby brother.  It seems silly now but I was plagued by feelings of being awkward and unlovely and dance was great therapy.  

My teacher was a blonde statuesque beauty by the name of Jean Enright.   Her garage was fitted with mirrors and a ballet barre.  I was one of her older students.   I took lessons from her for about five years.  My last performance at one of her recitals was when I was sixteen.  Because of those lessons I was in Choreodancers at Rolling Hills High School, I danced in high school dance concerts and musicals, I danced in church plays and talent shows,   and I danced for a short time at Brigham Young University in Ballet Theater and Modern Dance Club.  

My mother encouraged me to get a degree in dance and do as my teacher had done, teach dance.  My mother was probably right but I resisted.  I think I resisted because although dance was a joy, it was also a heartache.  It was very hard for me.  All dancers must work hard and be disciplined but I felt like I was fighting my body’s basic nature.  I am not naturally limber or flexible.  I struggled to be confident on stage.  Although I am slender, I don’t have the curveless figure of the ideal ballet dancer, and I felt like I was too tall.  Knowing what I know now about the varieties of dance styles and opportunities, I realize I was too self-conscious and too pessimistic.  In spite of that, dance was a great blessing in my life.  I acquired poise and grace and confidence that my awkward young self very much needed.   I love to dance.  I had wonderful experiences performing and making friends through dance.   

After I had my second child, while I was at the doctor being treated for strep throat, I learned something about my body that shed more light on why dance was hard for me.  I have an obscure malady with the weird name, “Essential Tremors.”   I realized that the trembling in my legs and arms was not just because of exertion during a difficult work out.  I learned that being still and steady on stage wasn’t just because I had stage fright. I love performing.  I am not afraid of performing.  I am afraid of the unexpected trembling of my body that I cannot control.  I sing and that same malady had consequences during vocal performance.  I once toyed with becoming a nurse, but tremors in my hands made me give up that as a possibility because I could not imagine being able to give shots and place IV needles in patients with my trembling hands.

The worst part is that people often express concern that I am anxious or nervous because they notice the trembling.  Truthfully, I am at times anxious and nervous, and I am sometimes a bit frenetic. I think I’m a productivity junkie.  I bustle around at high speed getting as much done as possible. Which isn’t actually, all that productive sometimes.   All this does not help calm my essential tremors.  

These days I take beta-blockers to control my tremors.  Beta blockers are also useful for performance anxiety and shakiness.  Yoga with its stretching, deep breathing, Zen quality is probably the best thing I am doing to get my tremors under control.

To get the most out of my Yoga sessions both physically and mentally, I must slow down, still my mind, and create a zone of existence where nothing matters but the present  NOW:  t he body breathing in health, light, and peace;   breathing out stress and discomfiture of all kinds.  It was very hard at first. Hard like dance was hard.  I’m not limber.  Some poses are difficult.  But it gets easier every day.  My muscles are more limber every day.  I feel more youthful and more productive as I take this time to slow down. 

Aches and pains and stress are eased in that timeless space where I am at peace with myself and my maker and the challenges he as blessed me with.  Be still and breathe.

“Be still and know that I am God.”   Psalms 46:10

Let Freedom Ring---Losing Sight of Fundamental Founding Principles

Outside of Constitutional issues---the problem with today's Obama appointment is the regulator will slow the process of our economic recovery by slowing the flow of dollars to the credit market. When you regulate business you hurt free enterprise and investment slows, resulting in fewer jobs being created.  We don’t need more of that from the Executive Office of the US.  When Government messes with business, they do damage.  We don’t need an overpowering executive trying to play momma to the whole country. A community organizer can’t do that for 320,000,000 people.  The people of the US are smarter than that and can take care of themselves.  This is simply another money grab by Obama.  Take the hybrid Volt for instance.  Each one of those has cost US tax payers over $400,000 thus far.  It’s obvious the government shouldn’t own the car manufacturing companies.  What we need is for Obama and big government to get off our backs and stop the socialistic money-mongering. Let freedom ring.    

Prepare for the Future

Trustworthy financial advice and education are essential for early retirement---click the link below for one good source of education---but, not sufficient to replace personal financial advice. Click on the title above to access a trustworthy website----12 Tips To Build Wealth For Retirement.

Join our email group with no obligation by signing in to the right and receive a free copy of the Podcast "7 Pillars of Retirement Freedom". 

http://financialmentor.com/free-articles/retirement-planning/early-retirement-planning/12-tips-to-build-wealth-for-early-retirement

How Will We Weave our Tapestry in 2012?

Yesterday I spoke to our Church congregation of perhaps 250 people about opportunities and challenges as we enter the New Year.  As I prepared my sermon, I was tempted to do the normal by suggesting behaviors that should define our discipleship as Christians.  But in my mind’s eye I kept seeing the young mother’s in the congregation struggling with their young families trying to be attentive as they took mental notes of all the things they needed to do better. 

At that point I had a major stupor of thought and my approach shifted gears.  Don’t get me wrong, the behaviors I would have been pontificating weren’t the problem. They are all decent things.

The problem was seeking to change behavior when someone is already living a stellar life helping young children grow-up in a loving atmosphere.  What more should be “required” of these young moms, and for that matter, dads.  Raising a family is certainly one of the most satisfying pursuits in life.  I didn’t want to do anything to derail such a sacred and happy process. So I deepened by contemplation and sought a better way to encourage and uplift.  Surely going to hear sermons on January 1^st should be an uplifting experience.

So I focused my thoughts on what to me is one of the best sources of motivation and strength to do “good” with our lives.  Relying on the power of the Grace of Christ to help us access and maintain a life of positive loving outreach. 

Where does the power to do good come from?   Atheists and theologians will debate this notion forever.  Is it a spiritual gift or do humans have the ability to embrace an ethical moral mindset?  You may be surprised that I think it’s a combination of influences.  I think nature, nurture, and God all play a role in this most dynamic endeavor.

So here is what I hope I shared during my sermon:

1)      How to access the power of the Grace of Christ to help us improve our discipleship.  It is a spiritual gift for those who seek it. 

2)      Seek to Come unto Christ by following his example of love, kindness, gentleness, acceptance, and service. 

3)      Teach doctrine rather than programs and procedures.  Teach correct principles rather than a list of specific behaviors.  We honor the freedom of the soul by respecting ability to know what to do to help ourselves and others.   

4)      Perfectionism is like the fanatic who lost his way and redoubled his pace down the wrong path.  Keep it simple, serve others, and it’s OK to take good care of yourself. Spend some time sharpening your own saw.

Every New Year in some ways we are like a blank canvas ready for the weaver’s magic touch.  Whom we allow to work on our tapestry is up to us.  Choosing wisely is helped by practice and experience.  The notion of acceptance of and reliance on an all wise spiritual connection is almost universal---no matter what our concept of God is.  So how will we weave our tapestry in 2012?  I have full confidence that it will be absolutely beautiful 363 days from now.

The Glue that Makes Humans what They Are

I’ve been thinking a lot about change recently.  I am preparing a sermon for our Church congregation to be delivered on Sunday January 1^st.  Its purpose is to help congregants prepare to set individual and group goals for the New Year 2012. 

Changing is one of the coolest things we do in this life.  Change takes a commitment level that makes most of us uncomfortable, especially as we get older.  Organizations that don’t change usually fade to insignificance pretty dang fast.  But life without change becomes stagnant and even purposeless. Change seems to be part of the glue that makes humans what they are. 

Years ago I learned this truth.  What the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve. Change spawns in the deep recesses of the mind. Belief is product of determination.  Being willing to work hard makes determination exponentially real.  It expands as we press forward and see progress. 

I once decided I would become the best basketball player north of Chicago.  This was in 1965.  I was all of 13 years old at the time and very bitsy at 5’.  My older brother had been a 3 year starter at our suburban Chicago high school in Libertyville Illinois. I felt the need to carry on the family tradition and determined to do so.  I became a gym rat.  Then once back home I would dribble the basketball for hours in our cement floored basement.  Freshman year I made the “A” team at a whopping 5’2” tall.  I played but did not start.  But the dream persisted and I grew 5 inched in the summer and made the sophomore team.  It looked like I would start.   I kept working on my skills.  My vertical jump improved.  By junior year I was almost 6’ and could dunk a volleyball…my hands were never big enough to palm a basketball. 

I did not become the super star like my brother had been but I did score 28 and 29 points in games during my high school career.  I had moments of brilliance.  I was satisfied that my dream had become reality to the level my body would allow.  I just didn’t have a 6’2” John Stockton hiding under my skin. Most of the dreams I have conceived have come true, marrying a beautiful California girl, raising a large family, being a Bishop, a Stake President, and a teacher in the worldwide LDS Church Educational System.  I am a believer when it comes to dreaming big and making it happen by working hard.

My latest two dreams are reshaping my body by losing 80 pounds and retiring with dignity to a financially secure life.  As is usual with me, I am working on these with my usual gusto.  So my encouragement to all is to look to 2012 with enthusiasm and great expectation.  Do something unsuspected.  Move toward accomplishing your biggest dream. 

My friend Marc Cameron (Otte) has worked many years to hone his writing skill to become a nationally known novelist. This year he arrived with the publishing of his newest book, “National Security” and the dream continues to grow.  So whatever you really want to do, make 2012 the best year for stepping forward. 

New Year’s resolutions that Bring Deep Change

Most of us have some aspects of our lives we have attempted to change many times to only be disappointed when it doesn’t happen as we had hoped.  Deep Change is much more dogged than setting a goal.  Once we learn how to apply Deep Change we are empowered to go anywhere we wish. 

The process has some similarities for all of us.  It starts with envisioning ourselves in the future.  It depends heavily on our personal confidence.  How much do we really believe in ourselves?  Deep Change is wrapped up in our own psychological and spiritual moorings.  What morals and standards do we live by?  Is it OK to cheat our neighbor a little bit, or are we committed to being totally honest?  A thousand little things shape our ethics.  It is who we are. 

On occasion life gets too complicated and we give up on the Deep Change concept.  We let life live for us by just trying to get by, one foot in front of the other, a day or even an hour at a time.  But then the creative juices start to flow again, and we feel a desire to do something more with our lives.  

New Year’s resolutions that cause Deep Change can happen.  Deep Change demands new ways of thinking.  It is major in its impact.  It relies on absolute disconnection from a habit of the past.  When done right, it is irreversible.  Deep Change means risk taking and surrendering control.  I sometimes call this jumping off the “faith limb” while hoping we will  land safely.  There are ways of assuring success. 

I try to take time daily to meditate on the day and week ahead.  I find a safe quiet place and relax for a few minutes then go in my mind to a warm deserted beach where worries are far away.  I prayerfully consider my future endeavors. Then I free my mind of stress by a transcendental technique using my own mantra.  That is when I am able to envision what is ahead “outside” of the box so to speak.  I dream big and say to myself, why not.   

I have a Podcast that is 12 minutes long I am posting in a few days that explores Deep Change more. It will be posted first to those who are part of my email group (see box to the right of this post).  The Podcast outlines steps to make Deep Change happen.  I hope it is helpful to those who might be considering “resolutions” for 2012.  I am encouraging all of us to not simply set some goals but to demand Deep Change of ourselves. 

Small Miracles---A Christmas Story by Jeannie Snow VanOrden

SMALL MIRACLES---A Christmas Story 

By L. Jean Snow VanOrden

                   

Sharon grabbed the glass of milk just in time to keep it from toppling over.

            “Mark, quit playing ‘Jingle Bells’ on the glasses!  This is probably the last meal you’ll have for quite awhile so you better make sure you don’t spill it all over.”

            Mark dropped his spoon.  It clanged to the floor and he dove under the table to retrieve it. Their waitress, her name tag said “Jen”, refilled their water as she passed by.  She set a paper cup full of crayons and three kiddie placemats on the table.  Jen stroked the baby’s white-blond hair and cooed,

            “Oh, she’s such a doll, what’s her name?”

            “Actually, his name is Michael.  We just can’t bring ourselves to cut off his beautiful curls.” Sharon slid the high chair closer to the table to get it out of the way of the restaurant traffic.  “Wouldn’t you know, “she thought.  “They would seat us right by the kitchen.”

            Sharon fingered the five ten-dollar bills and hand-full of change in her coat pocket.  It was the last of their money.  One more big meal and then they’d have to wait until they were paid for hauling the load that Steve was picking up.  Between now and then it would be crackers and cheese and the last few cans of juice and formula they had in the truck.

            They had spent the last week living out of the cab of their semi-truck.  Three kids and two adults traveling across country looking for better trucking jobs.  Steve heard that there was plenty of work out of Denver.  They sold everything they could, packed the rest in the truck, and headed west just in time to leave family, friends, and everything homey and familiar behind right at Christmas time.  They had engine trouble outside Oklahoma City.  Nothing on a big rig can be fixed without spending gobs of cash.  Now, at last, they had been able to land a job just outside Denver.

            Andy’s Freeway Diner was draped in shiny green and red garlands.  Tiny artificial trees lined the booth walls and silver snowflakes glistened on the branches.  Christmas carols played just above the din of clattering dishes.  Outside a thin dusting of snow was beginning to fall.

            “Well, at least we’ll have a white Christmas,” grumbled Sharon under her breath.

            “I want Daddy!” wailed Rachael. 

            And then all Sharon’s efforts to rescue it failed as Rachael’s three-year-old fist crashed down on her glass of milk.  White liquid spread across the paper placemats, under the silverware, and dripped down the edge of the table.   Sharon grabbed a handful of napkins and threw them on the growing puddle.  She felt as if the whole diner full of people was staring at her unruly brood.  She was dead tired and famished.  “Where was their food?”

            As if she had heard Sharon’s mental scream, Jen came out of the kitchen carrying a huge tray of platters.  She balanced the tray on the edge of the table while Sharon finished mopping up the milk.  The delicious smells started her stomach growling: crisp, savory bacon, steaming hash browns, scrambled eggs, and piles of fragrant pancakes with syrup.  Jen emptied the tray while Sharon quickly arranged the food in front of the children.  Pacified by a mouthful of pancake soaked in syrup, Rachael ceased wailing.  Mark commandeered a strip of bacon.  Sharon felt short five or six arms as she tried to serve, feed and keep disaster at bay.  Finally, with everyone satisfied and quietly stuffing their mouths, Sharon turned her attention to her own plate.  After she had savored a couple of heavenly bites, Steve burst through the restaurant door and crossed the room with hurried, deliberate strides.

            “Daddy!” cried Rachael, reaching her arms up to greet him.

            “Give me the fifty dollars.”  His tone left no doubt that he was dead serious.

            Sharon reached into her pocket and grasped the moist bills protectively.  “You have got to be kidding!  We’re eating already.  How will I pay for all this?”

            Steve’s tone softened slightly, “Look, they won’t load the truck until I pay for some kind of loading permit.  The permit costs fifty dollars.  They won’t wait for the money until I get paid at the other end.  No permit, no job, no income.  There’s nothing I can do about it.  As soon as I get the truck loaded, I’ll come back here and we’ll figure out something.  I don’t see that I have any other choice and I’ve got to hurry back or we’ll lose the contract.”

            Sharon slowly drew the fifty dollars out of her pocket and handed it to Steve.  Then he was gone.  She could hear the roar of the truck’s engine as he pulled the oversized beast out of the parking lot.  She had planned to take the children to across the street to the mall after they finished eating.  They were going to window shop to kill time until Steve met them at Santa’s Village near the main entrance.   Now she would have to keep the children entertained right here at the table for a couple of hours.  And how would they pay?  Could you really was dishes to pay for a meal?  They had been through lean times before but never this close to the edge.  She felt thoroughly humiliated:  noisy children, spilled milk, and now completely broke.  She tried to eat but her once ravishing appetite was gone. 

            “Here, Mark, you can have my bacon.”  Sharon slid her plate over.

            “Mommy, what’s going to happen?”  Mark looked pale and worried.  It hadn’t occurred to Sharon that he might understand what was going on, that her five-year-old son tuned into the conversation.  Suddenly her distress about paying for the meal fled.  It was the anxiety in Marks sweet face that upset her most.

            “Mark, help me get the baby and Rachael fed.  I’ll have Jen bring us some new placemats and we’ll keep busy coloring and eating until Daddy gets back.  And Mark, maybe you could say a little prayer in your heart to help us stay calm.  Everything will be all right, I promise.”

            “Just great, now I’ve made this a test of my son’s faith,” she thought, bitterly.  She was playing a game with God.  “Hey, if I’m not good enough for your help, my little son’s faith is on the line here.”

            She suddenly felt too tired to worry anymore.  “Just take a deep breath,” she thought.  “We’ll take this one minute at a time.”

            She looked over at the baby.  Scrambled eggs covered his face.  His eyes drooped and his head nodded.  Sharon spread a baby quilt on the booth seat.  She gently cleaned Michael’s face then wrapped him in the quilt.“One blessing already, he will nap for at least an hour.”

            Mark and Rachael continued eating quietly. Sharon decided she may as well enjoy some hash browns and orange juice after all.  It cheered her immensely to have the baby asleep and the other two children settled down.  Thankfully, no one seemed to be paying any attention to them now that their noise had subsided. 

            “Look, Mommy,” Mark nudged her harm.  “I drew a picture of Grandma and Grandpa’s house.  See here’s Grandpa sitting by the fire and there’s Grandma decorating the Christmas tree.”  Sharon nodded absently.   Her mind was now caught up in memories of Christmas back home.  Whatever had possessed them to take off  like this?  It had seemed like a great opportunity to get trucking business going better.  But now it seemed more like a disaster. Back and forth her thoughts flew.

            “Stop!” she thought.  “What’s done is done.  I’ll go crazy rehashing what can’t be changed.”

            She took a deep breath and blew it out.  Their plates were just about empty.  Rachael stuffed the last of her pancake in her mouth then stretched out on the seat and put her head in Sharon’s lap.  Sharon covered her with a coat.  She glanced out the window.  The snow had changed to large soft flakes.  The breakfast rush was over and the diner was quieting down. 

            “Another blessing: they won’t be unhappy with us for taking up valuable space.”

              Just then, Margie swept out of the kitchen and up to their table with another tray.  She began setting out three large mugs of hot chocolate topped with tall swirls of whipped cream. 

            “Wait, I didn’t order these. I really can’t pay for them . . . “  Sharon protested. “Or any of it.” She thought.

            “No problem, don’t worry about it.”  Jen broke in.  “Look outside, right out front.  See the white-haired couple getting into that red pick-up.  When they paid for their breakfast, they paid for yours and threw in the hot chocolate, some sandwiches and a dozen donuts to go.  They said to tell you it’s an early Christmas present.”

            Sharon watched as the red pick-up truck pulled out onto the snow-covered highway and disappeared into the storm.  She hadn’t wished for or expected anything like this.  A miracle for her little family so complete and faith restoring had been beyond her energy to imagine.  Perhaps all the more miraculous because of that.  She felt a surge of relief and gratitude wash over her.  “Thank you,” she whispered out loud.

            “Mommy,” said Mark.  Can I drink my hot chocolate?  I already said a thank-you prayer.”

            “Yes,” said Sharon, still gazing out at the falling snow.  “Yes, Mark, you can drink your hot chocolate now.”

THE END

By L. Jean Snow VanOrden

Copyright 2005

Taking Charge of Our Destiny

This is not a promotional for my weight loss program.  Read all the way through so you know what it is really about. 

When I started my quest to get healthy by taking back control of my weight, I have to admit, it has became one of the most satisfying things I have done in many years.  I have never been this successful in grasping control of my eating habits and losing weight. 

At first I thought if I get through my normal weight loss threshold of about 25 pounds that would be good.  Then I went blasting beyond that to over 40 pounds off. 

The holidays became a short bump in the road, and quite frankly so did my doctor who thought I was losing too quickly. He was kind of stuck on the old thinking that 2 pounds a week is best.  I have survived those glitches and now I am losing again quickly once more. I average losing 3-5 pound per week. My motivation stays high since I see my body changing.   It has caused me to trust the food program I am on and my exercise routine.  Since over 20,000 doctors have recommended this program, my commitment is high.    

My body feels so much better when I am following my program with exactness.  I have more energy and get so much more done each day.  Weight control and eating right have become my medicine for a continued productive life and my body which will turn 60 this coming summer.  

So my new mantra is going to be “60 is the new 40”  now that I am transitioning from a career that I have enjoyed for almost 35 years into my “retirement” career.  Studies show that most Baby-boomers are simply moving from a lifelong career into another way of helping make ends meet.

The transition time frame can be from a few months long to several years as Baby-boomers strive to get it right.  The current investment climate is so uncertain due to economic and political unrest, but the upcoming election should correct the lack of stability we have endured these past several years.  America will rally once more.

If I was a younger and still raising a family, I would look forward with great expectations for my future.  I would live simply and invest cautiously to provide for my family and future.  I would get as much education as possible.  I would embrace the cyber-culture to make sure I connect with the dominate force in the market place and thereby assure myself and family of a diversity of opportunity. 

When my oldest son quit his secure electrical engineering corporate career to start his own cyber business and writing career, I worried for his future.  That was almost a decade ago, and during a recent visit I learned he is taking steps to take his online business from a successful 7 figure endeavor to 8 figures over the next several years.  That’s right, from a $1,000,000 business into the 10’s of millions. I guess my worries were not well founded. 

So to the younger crowd, “diversify your interests and education”.  Dream big and make it happen.  Believe in yourself and press forward with confidence.  Along the way take good care of your body so productivity stays high. 

Take good care of your family and give them the best time you have available, always.  Don’t let other pursuits get in the way of loving your spouse and children.  Take time daily to be creative.  The best ideas have not yet been made reality.  It takes vision to make the future better than today.  And don’t forget to include an element of spirituality in your regular creative process.  Onward!   

I Awoke to the Sweet Savory Smell of Thanksgiving Stuffing

This morning I awoke to the sweet savory smell of Thanksgiving stuffing.  It had floated all through our house and filled every nook and cranny.  There was no hiding from it. The juices of my mouth began to enjoy a sumptuous imaginary, all the trappings, holiday meal.  Wait, its November 12, not Thanksgiving yet.  What’s up?   

I hustle down stairs to the kitchen and discover Jeannie in her element as Chief-Chef of our homestead.  My salivary glands are now in full swing.  She tells me she is preparing some food for the Ward Thanksgiving Dinner tonight at the Alpenglow Chapel. Part of me is disappointed I can’t partake of the feast sooner.  Then I remember, I am on a weight loss plan and shouldn’t be partaking at all.      

I am still on my weight loss eating plan.  I have become accustomed to eating 6 small meals a day and have appreciated the way my body feels when I eat smaller meals.  There is less of the over-full “bloated” feeling.  But since I am a food-grazer, and nibble at everything that is available, the holiday season is a particular challenge. This time of year, there are exotic foods available non-stop in our home.  

I thought I could keep up the weight loss during the “holiday” season.  My goal was to lose 10 lbs in November and then another 10 lbs in December.  So I now have admitted to myself that it was a bit ambitious, therefore it is time to revise my goal.  I have two choices: 

             1)      Try to lose some weight, any weight, during the holidays, even a pound or two will do

2)      Do my very best to not gain weight during the holidays.

I have already lost 41 pounds.  I still have 40 more pounds to lose in order to get to my ultimate goal of 199 pounds.  If I tread water during the holidays, by keeping the current weight loss but not gaining any back, I could consider that a success.  So the super-human goal of losing weight during the holidays is set aside.  But I will be vigilant in weighing myself and working-out to make sure I don’t start to gain. 

Thank you for all you encouragement and feedback. 

Deep Change is Inevitable

About a year ago I decided I needed a new project on which to focus my life.  I was released as a stake president responsible for about 3000 members of the Mormon Church, our children were basically all “raised” and established in their own lives, my wife and I survived major health challenges, I was approaching the conclusion of a 34 year career with the same educational organization, and our finances were in pretty decent shape with sufficient resources for our needs. 

Our large home seems a bit large and extravagant.  Most home repair sand upgrade projects are complete or in the works.  Our debt load is about where we hoped for this time of our lives.  We are closing in on major transition from our parenting years to empty nesting with psychological challenges that go with not being needed quite as much by family or community. 

We have been so oriented toward serving others that we can hardly imagine just taking care of each other without some form of outreach to the society around us.  We don't want to make the mistake of imposing ourselves in the lives of our adult children in such a way they may “tolerate” our interest and intrusiveness.

Though we have deep abiding connections with the main culture in our lives which centers in Mormon beliefs and sociality, we understood very well the tendency of any religious organization to use faith as a controlling force to shape life and thinking.  After ten years as one of the leaders of the LDS Church in Alaska, with a Mormon population of almost 5%, my influence has dropped to negligible, and appropriately so.  I think it is the way all Churches should operate.  Periodic change in leadership is good.   

We have always wanted our faith to be inclusive and accepting, as well as comfortable.  My leadership style tries to make this happen.  For a Church that had to be isolated during its pioneer beginnings, the Mormon faith has made some significant strides in an effort to be inclusive.  They take an active role in community issues.  They reach out to assist those in need without expectation of conversion or commitment.  I think the motives have been purified and are Christ-like.  It is a positive trend.

So back to the subject at hand:  What to do with our time and future?  It has become apparent that spending more time taking care of each other as married partners of over 37 years, is appropriate and necessary.  At first it seemed a bit self serving and selfish.  But it has actually become fun. 

As far as community outreach is concerned, I have considered politics which is one of my interests and hobbies.  I have also considered extending my career and taking on a new project for the LDS Church Educational System.  I have always enjoyed new projects that are a challenge.  I was trained as an organizational behavior catalyst at BYU and UAF, and have always enjoyed that challenge.

On the other hand, I could “retire” and start my own business to continue to secure our future in times that tend to make hearts faint when it comes to financial matters.  If something doesn’t change, I best not count on social security income even though I have contributed hundreds of thousands of dollars to the federal tax and redistribution scheme.  Frankly, I have never really planned on getting much back from SS, even though it is not an “entitlement” welfare program in our case, since it’s our money from earned income with contribution from us and our employers. 

Many of the Baby-boomer generation are taking on “retirement” careers.  I could get a job as a school principle in the local school district for about $100,000 a year, but that would be heavy stress during a time when reducing stress-load is important or I could substitute-teach for the local school district and earn $25,000 to $30,000 a year. I could get a job as an adjunct professor for the University system which would be intertesting and fun.  But you would be amazed how poorly they are paid.

I am enjoying writing and have two books in the works.  But making money writing is unlikely.  Since I have two college degrees and a lifetime of experience, the possibilities are almost endless.  But when I start considering the lifestyle we want, I realize I need to have control of my time and commitments.  So gradually the options have been refined over the past year. 

One of my main projects recently has been a concerted effort to improve my health.  I had ballooned to 280 pounds while I put all I had into being a Church leader.  The time and emotional commitments didn’t allow for self preservation.  In hindsight I wish I made more time along the way to take care of my own health. 

But now I am progressing toward the best health I can have for my age and body type.  This quest is one of the most satisfying projects I have undertaken.  It is a great reinforcement to watch my body change and even improve.  It seemed selfish at first, but now I realize I will be much more useful to my family and others as a healthy person. My successes have brought on a desire to “pay-it-forward” and help others with weight-loss and related health issues. 

My blog entries about my weight loss journey have been the most viewed of all my posts.  The interest has been huge and even surprising to me.  My weight-loss mentor has complimented me by asking if I would consider becoming one of his practices health coaches.  He does this professionally as a Doctor of Chiropractic Medicine.  His business model is sound and the motivation is good.  Though it will never make me wealthy, it could help many people.  So I am considering it as a part-time retrirement endeavor. 

So the refinement continues as I approach retirement.  It’s not easy to give up a career I have been with for 34 years.  But change is good especially at this point in our lives. Its inevitability has become less daunting as we get closer.  I look forward with enthusiasm to what the future holds for Jeannie and me.